Therapy for Emotional Abuse : Establish Boundaries to Protect Yourself
“Boundaries make freedom possible” - Robert Augustus
As you begin to process the abuse experienced, you can access a new sense of self-empowerment through an awareness of your needs and values. When you focus inwards, you can give yourself the space needed to heal through setting boundaries with abusers.
Boundaries are sacred spaces that protect and assert our autonomy as individuals, allowing us to define who we are and who we allow into our world. Boundaries can be a vital tool in how you separate your thoughts, feelings, and emotions from others. In developing healthy boundaries, it’s important to learn that only you can provide the inner safety you personally need; no one else can do that for you.
It can be an uncomfortable experience at first, but as you continue to integrate boundary-setting into your life, you take back the power of self and protect yourself from further abuse.
“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.” -Brene Brown
PROMPT:
Abusers frequently use passive, passive aggressive, and aggressive communication in relationships which can leave victims vulnerable to accepting the shame they project on them due to their own unprocessed pain. When we set a boundary it’s important to use assertive communication, by using “I” statements to affirm out separateness. I statements look like:
I feel _______________ when ___________________ And I would prefer _________________
I feel _______________ when ___________________ And I would prefer _________________
I feel _______________ when ___________________ And I would prefer _________________
I feel _______________ when ___________________ And I would prefer _________________
I feel _______________ when ___________________ And I would prefer _________________
Think about a situation in your life that made you feel angry, sad, and scared to practice “I” statements. Write 5 statements for each feeling. When you are done, reflect on your feelings and thoughts about this exercise.
PROMPT:
What beliefs have you internalized that has created feelings of guilt when thinking about setting boundaries?
(For example: Boundaries will threaten my relationships, boundaries will be unacceptable to others, boundaries are selfish)
PROMPT:
What new beliefs can empower and support you in feeling confident when setting boundaries in the future?
(For example: Boundaries are a form of self-respect, boundaries will help me heal, boundaries will help me build self-esteem)